Day 5 - Love is not rude

Did you notice a shift in today's dare?

Instead of challenging you to do something that pleases your partner, today is all about having the tough conversations. What are three things that your partner does that you consider rude?

Honestly, as I read the dare, I thought, my husband is a saint...he doesn't exhibit any rude behaviors. However, since I am being honest here, I have a tendency to ignore some things for the sake of keeping the peace. I don't want to acknowledge behaviors in others that don't work for me because then I would have to confront and deal with them. I admit it - its one of my character flaws.

So, the behaviors that I chose to call out to my spouse are:
1. I think it's rude that William falls asleep on the sofa most nights. I understand that he is a night person, but I think its rude to stay downstairs until 2AM, then make your trek up the stairs for bed.

2. I think its rude that he doesn't keep the cars clean. OK...maybe that's less rude and more of a pet peeve. However, I am a big fan of riding in a clean car. On most trips out to the mall, to visit a friend, etc. we take my car because most of the time, he has clutter everywhere in his car.

3. OK..maybe 2&3 are tied together...I think its rude that he maintains so much clutter. He typically has little objection to me throwing things away (e.g. magazines, receipts, etc). Yet, I would love if he had a mindset to purge on a regular basis. Again - this is likely less rude and more of a preference thing.

Now - if you can dish it, you have got to be able to take it. Here are the things that I would guess (William is at a shut in at church tonight) he would say about me and my rudeness.

1. I have, on occasion, been rude to him in front of others. For example, I am ready to leave from somewhere, and I will say, William, come on already. I have definitely gotten better at hiding my frustration, but haven't completely made it to the mountain top on that one.

2. I leave my shoes downstairs near the door and my clothes are all over the chaise in our room. While I typically gather my things together on the weekend, I am confident that he would prefer that I keep up with it on a daily basis vs. waiting until the weekend.

3. Not answering the phone. Most of the time, I am not a huge fan of the phone. So, my mom, his mom, my friends, etc. will call and I won't answer it. I also don't click over when he or others call and I am on the other line. He thinks this is so rude. I tend to agree sometimes. However, I think it's also me choosing when I am ready to engage with others. Just because you call doesn't mean that I am in a place to engage. His preference, however, would be for me to just answer and say, I'll call you back.

What's my reaction after all of this? WOW - feedback is a gift, but its a tough pill to swallow sometimes. However, its nice to know where I can improve. Of the three called out, I am willing to actively take on at least 2. I am definitely working on how I talk to him and picking up my shoes/clothes on a daily basis. I am going to pray about the phone :-).

What did you learn from your spouse. Please comment...Blessings!