Marchoe in Detroit celebrating good chinese food from Stanley'sHere are our rules of engagement that William and I live by - even though we have never written them down:
1. No matter how angry we are - we don't mention divorce
2. Conflict occurs between us - we don't talk to family and friends about our problems
3. We don't argue. We can discuss things when we are both calm enough to have a conversation and agree to do something different.
4. We will never touch one another in an effort to harm the other person.
I must tell you that William is responsible for most of these rules. He has a huge aversion to conflict. He is the one that is most likely to apologize so that we can move on. This drives me nuts sometimes. I want to have the full discussion, but its hard to do so when the other person apologizes and moves on.
As far as my personal engagement principles -here they are:
1. I will openly share my feelings in a calm manner.
2. I will focus on what do we need to do differently going forward, versus re-hashing the past offense.
3. I will take responsibility for my wrongdoings and openly apologize.
Be Blessed!
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